CV Tardiness...

Hello out there. It's been a long time I know, but these things happen. Unfortunately none of the Cerebral Visions team are full time film producers or directors yet, so the productivity of the team isn't exactly prolific. We have lives to live and sadly this all gets in the way. Never mind though, I thought I'd update you all on all the things we have in the wings waiting to be made and finished.

Now, first of all I think it is important to note that most of the delay has been caused by me, Mr Snare van Damm. Editing seems to be the most likely place that the whole project can slow down. Partly because I'm learning new software, but also because my life is a hectic one whe work can come at me at any angle and sadly this leads to not giving me enough time or energy to get back on the editing wagon.

But filming has definitely had some movement over the last few months and you will hopefully be glad to hear that we have no less than FOUR projects in the pipeline that are all sat with me.

The first and most delayed is a short sketch (how ironic being short) entitled 'The Torturers'. The problems here are that none of us just want to post something in a "that'll do" kind of way. It's been many months of working out the best way to put this together and numerous re-edits which hasn't been easy, but we are almost there.

Next, we have our own advertisement for our own fictional product, which could be good when it's finished editing etc, but I think it just needs me to pull my finger out in the first place. So apologies for that. When it's done We hope to make you all proud and at least snigger just once!

Part of the team were also working on a documentary that I won't go into too much detail here, but it's our first attempt at this kind of filmmaking. The subject is good, and topical, we just need to get out there and finish shooting this bad boy...

Also, we have a teaser trailer of a feature that we are putting together. This will only be about a minute or so, but this needs time put into the big effort of editing the damn thing. After a first cut, we can probably get something up to show you all...

Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that we are not being tardy or lazy as a group, it's just what happens when you have to pay the bills. I hope this finds you well, and I hope to next time be shouting that our latest (albeit severely delayed) film is up on the t'interwebs.

Until then, stay safe and don't eat the yellow snow.

Regards,
Snarevandamm
(tardy but awesome Cerebral Visions editor)

A new start

Hello again, it's been a while! Three months, eh? Crikey. So what have you been up to, how's your summer? How was your spring? Ours has been very busy with us being somewhat productive! Since last we spoke, we have shot, polished and finally released our latest film, a short adventure comedy featuring chases and fighting and epic music (check out our Videos section for this and more). We are also working on the Torturers film we started so long ago; with shooting completed, all that's left to do is audio post and some final editing, so watch this space!

And if that isn't enough, we're starting work on a new production very soon. Even as I type, two of our best writers are on the case, fleshing out a narrative from a scribble in a notebook to a fully-fledged screenplay. I think for this project, I might try... no... I'm doing, I'm going to do it, I'm going to keep a production log to take you all through the process of making a film. So make sure you keep visiting back for further updates and drop us a comment if you're reading, I'd love to know who's interested.

Right, have a good weekend all and I'll see you very soon. Ciao!

Give a man a camera, he will film. Give a man a fully functional editing suite and...

Hello my CV-lovelies. Snare here, one-fifth of the powerhouse team here at Cerebral Visions. I realise its been a little while since we posted anything for you to ingest and come to the conclusion (like we did) that we are AWESOME.

So, how are you? Good I hope. We are doing just splendid here at CV Towers. So much so, we felt the need to bestow upon ourselves a little break... Only a little one, because we all know you need your fix. We will be back in the coming weeks, this is because we are like the YouTube equivalent of heroin, only more productive and suitable for society. 

Is it a good idea to start rambling and making drug references so early in the blog? I’m not sure. Soon I'll be making references to the Nazi’s and then we are don...

Oh sugar.

Sorry. I will find a point soon.

Cerebral Visions. That should be the main point. Yes...

Joking aside, I thought it would be a great idea to start a short blog series on our roles within CV, and how these are developing. We are learning bits and pieces from each and every project, so it would be a great idea to see where we are some point in the distant future, when money is no object and Hollywood is calling...Heh heh...

The main role I’ve taken within the group is ‘Editor’. I've been editing vlogs and videos on my own channel for years now, so it seemed the right place for me to fit in when we started this epic hobby. I like epic hobbies - is it an oxymoron? Probably. But thats how I roll... ;)

Editing to me is one of those activities that displays some very bipolar traits. At any one point I could be crying with laughter over a cut, or giggling like a schoolgirl at a finely placed comedic edit. Either way it is satisfying. But sometimes the laughter goes silent and the tears dry up, when you realise the amount of work you have to put in to some projects.  That's the trade off I guess. 

The magic can happen too though. When you stumble across by accident, or you make a play for it and it comes off, its still magic. Magic that you made happen. As an editor you are required to tell the story. This is only possible if you working with the director, instead of just taking instructions. You have to get inside their head, make a cup of brain tea and do a bit of ‘tidying up’. Its this tidying up that allows you to see clearly what the director wants for the piece. Talk to them, ask questions, make sure you understand what they are going for. Get excited about it. Its all part of the job.

If there is one thing I would ever say to anyone thinking of getting started in making films themselves (and ergo being the editor) it would be this. 

Be your own harshest critic.

If you don't, others will. You need to either make yourself laugh, cry, think, ponder - anything that provokes a reaction is probably worth doing. If it doesn't, then people wont tell you - they will just walk away. The saddest thing is, you’ll never know.

But don't get too depressed by that! Editing can be really rewarding when you manage to eventually ‘craft’ that look / feel you were going for; when you can realise a directors vision in YOUR handiwork. 

Now, some of you may be thinking “OK - stop talking Snare - when are you guys gonna post something new?” My answer would be (and is) “soon” my lovelies. I'm going back to do what I do best...and then finish editing the next CV masterpiece ;)

I hope you enjoyed this short insight into what I think about editing. It has become one of my passions, and I hope that our work here at Cerebral Visions may one day inspire you. Maybe even to start making your own films and get the same enjoyment out of it as we do. :)

See you soon, 

Snare 

DIY Boom Pole by a DIY Noob

I know there are plenty of these guides out there. This one is based on the Frugal Filmmaker's awesome instructional video, which is a great guide if you live in America, a country brought up on Home Improvement and McGuyver, with a cavernous Home Depot on every street corner and a Dremel in every tool shed. Here in the UK, you're lucky if you even have a tool shed, and all the decent hardware stores have been swallowed by the bulging, consumerist ubiquity of Ikea. So here is how I made a super-cheap Boom Pole with the bare minimum of tools, talent and cash.

Here's what I used:

Parts

• A 2m telescopic painter's pole. I gave it a shake to make sure there was no rattling or loose connections. Cost - £5
• An M10 (10mm) x 50mm bolt... making sure it fits in the shock mount tightly. Cost - 75p
• An M10 (10mm) nut. Cost - 25p
• Super glue (optional). Cost - £3

Tools

• A drill, with a drill bit that is less than 10mm. My drill is a vintage hand-me-down from my grandfather made in 1985.
• A hacksaw

First thing's first, I made sure the bolt screws tightly into the boom connector on my shock mount. Because my shock mount uses a 3/8" connector and bolts in the UK are sold in millimetres, I had trouble finding a bolt that fitted exactly. I went to a small hardware store and went through a box of loose bolts until I found one the right size. Don't ask me how or why some bolts fit and some don't when they are supposedly all the same size!

Next, at the top of my pole there was a plastic thread for attaching a paint roller. Some DIY Boom Pole guides say this needs to be solid plastic or metal, but I had trouble finding a pole with a solid plastic thread. The one I used was hollow, but it worked okay for this purpose. I drilled a hole that was slightly too small for my bolt; it was to serve as a guide hole, which would get bigger when I worked the bolt in. I had a bit of trouble squeezing the bolt in, so I used a nail file to make the hole slightly bigger (please don't tell my girlfriend).

After that, I had to saw the head off the bolt with a hacksaw. I'd recommend using a workbench with a clamp to hold the bolt steady. I didn't have either so I screwed the bolt into the pole and sat on the end of the pole while sawing the bolt head off. Disclaimer: I seriously don't recommend this method!

Right, hard part's done. All that was left to do was to screw in the bolt so that it fitted tightly. I had some super glue on standby to fix the bolt to the plastic, but I didn't end up using it because the fit was pretty tight. I then screwed the nut onto the bolt. This will prevent the bolt from slipping into the hole. Finally, I screwed on my shock mount and now I'm good to go. I'm going to use the Rode SM3.

I'll let you know how I get on in future production blogs. In the meantime, if you have any of your own tips for building boom poles or any other pieces of kit, let us know in the comments section below.

Counting beans and coming soon...

There are some jobs in which employee performance is appraised by targets. At the end of the week, reports are run at a high level by a team of number crunchers who analyse the amount of beans (or whatever) you've produced, and then compare it to the average bean output of your team. Those hard working saints with above average productivity are lauded as gods amongst their colleagues and toasted as a success by middle management, while the unfortunate saps below the line are frowned upon and given must-try-harder talks.

Of course, I shouldn't have to point out that statistically about half the workforce is inherently going to be "below average", rendering this particular bean-counting exercise completely meaningless. But more annoyingly, the people who are meeting or exceeding targets are usually those who cherry-pick the easiest tasks leaving their unfortunate colleagues to pick up the hard ones that will take all day to complete.

Which is a very roundabout way of saying there are times when you can do a hell of a lot of work and end up having not much to show for it. For Cerebral Visions this might be one of those weeks. Due to hectic lives infringing on production schedules, and a current lack of green screen material we haven't been able to concentrate on a single project, but rather we've been multi-tasking on a bunch of concurrent operations, notably:

• An untitled assassin project, directed by Will (now in post production) [UPDATE: watch now]
• A comedy script tentatively entitled "The Two Torturers", penned by Paul
• The aforementioned short comedy involving an estate agent, directed by Snare (half way through production) [UPDATE: watch now]
• The Big Summer Project, still in the not-quite-written stage of pre-pre-production, which will be our most ambitious project to date

So you see, we are working hard... It just seems that ebbing and flowing is our kind of approach to release schedules ;)

Back in the Studio

So after about a month and a half of post on Pirates and Dating, we finally got back in the studio for some serious guerrilla film making. But what started as a plan to shoot another carefully scripted and rehearsed talking sketch quickly fell apart when we couldn't source a green screen integral to the scene. So what, a week and a half of planning, build-up and excitement down the plughole? Hell no! This is Cerebral Visions we're talking about, we don't let minor obstacles like Abject Failure get in the way of Absolute Success. We always have a plan... Don't we?

We needed a plan. So after brainstorming for two hours and ordering a KFC-themed injection of pure positivity, we hit the ground running with a new concept, a back-of-a-fag-packet script, an ambitious schedule and fading light. Without giving too much away, it involved an estate agent getting more than he bargained for on a house viewing. Everything was starting to look rosy, actors were primed, lights were rigged and production mixing was going to be an experiment in one person holding two sensitive pieces of equipment without actually touching them whilst simultaneously monitoring input and taking notes.

Then disaster struck again! This time in the familiar and demonic form of a real-life estate agent, insisting on showing prospective buyers around the house in which we were shooting. Life imitating art doesn't cut it; sinister forces were at work. However, we remained strong and after clearing the set of unwanted extras, we got on and filmed about half the scenes we needed. It was the first time we'd filmed anything with action and more than one scene, a proper trial by fire. But it was immense fun, and we came away with that sense of achievement you only get after a productive day's grinding. Shooting continues (and hopefully concludes) next week.